如何应对尴尬时刻

方法 1

方法 1 的 3:应对尴尬处境

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评估当时情景。如何应对尴尬处境取决于使你尴尬之事。比方说,如果你做了错事,像是不恰当地评论了朋友,就会因不该那样讲话而尴尬不已。不过,你若因无心做了某事而感到尴尬,像是在众人面前跌了一跤,那就另当别论了。不同尴尬情境有略微不同的应对之策。
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必要的话要道歉。如果做了错事,就得为自己的错误道歉。不得不道歉或许会让你觉得更尴尬,但这很必要,因为你得处理好最初的尴尬并继续生活。确保道歉出自真心,坦率真诚。[2]
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可以这样说,“我对我所说或所做的事情感到抱歉,我并非有意而为之,以后说话做事会多加注意。”

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宽恕自己,停止自责 。在道歉(如果必要)之后,就得原谅自己犯的错误了。宽恕自己是应对尴尬的重要一步,因为这能让你停止自责。宽恕自己,意味着告诉自己这是无心之失,不该再想了。[3]
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如此告诉自己,“我原谅自己做的事情,人非圣贤,孰能无过呢。”

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分散自己和他人的注意力。如果你不愿意无视尴尬之事,在评估和应对当时的情况之后,还需要继续聊下去。不妨转移话题,邀请对方做点别的事来从尴尬情形中脱身。[4]
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例如,在你向朋友为自己的不当言论道了歉并原谅自己之后,问问他们是否关注了昨晚的新闻,也可以夸夸对方,“嘿,我喜欢你的衣服,哪里买的呢?”

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方法 2

方法 2 的 3:应对过往尴尬

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回想最尴尬的时刻。虽然回想曾经最尴尬的事会很痛苦,但这对你正确看待其他尴尬情景很有帮助。列出5件最尴尬的事情,将其和你最近发生的尴尬事相对比。[5]
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自嘲。在列完尴尬之事后,自嘲一下。自嘲以往的事也是一种净化。看看以往发生的那些傻事,可以助你摆脱尴尬之情。[6]
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比方说,有次你裙子塞在了内裤里,就这样从餐厅里经过,不妨自嘲下这番经历。试着从旁观者的角度想想,排除负面情绪。要明白那只是一次傻乎乎的失误,可能让人开始愣一下后来才恍然大悟,也可能让人笑喷。
试着和信任的朋友讲讲尴尬之事。或许和当时不在场的朋友聊起此事会容易一点,也可以听听别人的尴尬经历。

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对自己宽容点。你若没法自嘲,那就对自己宽容点。承认自己的尴尬,像好友似的和自己谈谈心。允许自己尴尬,并理解当时的痛苦。[7]
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试着提醒自己是谁,自己的核心价值何在,如此便可给自己点依靠,自我同情,消除一些尴尬之情。

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活在当下。经过自嘲和自我同情,你会感觉舒服多了,那么就回到当下吧。要知道那尴尬的时刻已成为过去式了,要多专注于当下。你身处何方?在做何事?和谁在一起?感觉如何?专注于此时此刻,如此便可不再纠结于往事。[8]
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追求卓越。尽管尴尬情景令人伤心,但也有助于个人提升。你若说过或做过什么错话错事使自己处于尴尬境地,那么想想以后该怎样做来杜绝此类事情的发生。你若犯了常人都可能会犯的无心之失,要告诉自己没有错,想开点继续美好生活。
不要因已发生过的错事心神不定,因为纠结于此会使痛苦加倍。[9]
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考虑下看看心理医生。你若百般努力仍无法从过去的尴尬中走出来,不妨寻求心理医生的帮助。你或许得继续努力,或者你的尴尬之情和其他思维方式有牵扯,如反思或自卑。

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方法 3

方法 3 的 3:理解尴尬之情

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要知道尴尬再正常不过了。尴尬会让你觉得自己哪里出了问题或自己孤身一人,但要记得这些感受并不准确,这点很重要。尴尬和开心、悲伤、生气等一样,都是人之常情。当你觉得尴尬,请记得人的一生中总会出现尴尬时刻。
将尴尬视为人人皆有的情感,问问父母或其他信任的人是否有尴尬的经历。[10]
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要明白被别人知道自己尴尬没关系。遭遇尴尬的最糟糕事情之一就是别人知道你在尴尬。诚然,别人知道你在尴尬会让这份尴尬加倍,这是因为你会觉得自己的尴尬被昭告天下,害怕被人指指点点。[11]
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羞耻会分公共和私人两种情景,而尴尬大多都是公开的。[12]
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尽量提醒自己别人知道你在尴尬没什么大不了的,因为这是人之常情。
现实点,问问自己到底是别人在评判你还是你自己在评判自己,这是应对所谓别人的评判的方法之一。[13]
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尴尬有时也会有所助益。虽然身处尴尬境地并不有趣,但有时小尴尬还挺有帮助的。一些研究表明,那些说错话或做错事会脸红的人往往被认为更值得信任,因为这些人往往更注意社会规则。所以,你若偶尔在犯小错时脸红,不要纠结于此,因为这会使人用更积极的眼光看你。[14]
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想想尴尬和完美主义之间的关系。完美主义可能会导致尴尬,因为你对自己要求过高,以至于一旦没达到目标就觉得自己是失败的。这种失败之感也会导致尴尬,所以给自己设定切实可行的目标很重要。[15]
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提醒自己,你才是对自己最挑剔的人。尽管好像全世界都在注视着你评价着你,但那并不现实。想想自己在别人说或做的小事上投入多少关注,你不可能看别人像审视自己那般事无巨细。[16]
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想想尴尬和自信的关系。比起自卑之人,自信的人往往较少尴尬。[17]
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你若是不自信,就可能会更容易尴尬,受尴尬的影响也更深。试着建立自信,来减轻日常尴尬。
你若极端难为情,那么可能是羞耻心过重,那和尴尬不是一回事。羞耻源自于自我感觉不好,也有可能因尴尬发生太频繁而导致。[18]
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若尴尬使你觉得羞耻,不妨和心理医生聊聊。

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